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About prodigal daughter

prodigal daughter started this conversation

I hate putting my story out here, but here it goes.

My Mother is the sweetest thing in the world.  Just your typical little southern mother.  She will be 80 soon.    Our parents were the best parents in the world and they gave us a great childhood.   

So tell me how it is that my sister would steal her home and my brother would clean out every dime of her assets?   Mother has moderate to sever dementia, coronary heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure.   Mother lived in Alabama and I showed up unexpectedly and found her in critical condition.   After she was released from the emergency room, I took her home with me to recouperate.   While she was with me, my little sister packed up everything she owned and sold it to a flea market for $500 and rented out her house.  She had no place to go except a nursing home.   I brought her home with me.   That was three years ago.

To make matters worse, in 2009, Barbara was tried and covicted to 40 years for stealing half a million dollars from her employer.  Get this, she only has to serve three of it and is actually up for parole this august after serving only one year.   It seems that she wasn't a CPA as we thought, just a thief and a con artist.  

I promised Mom that I would never put her in a nursing home.   So I went from making 54,000 a year to making less than $14,000.   So far, I have been able to pay my bills; God knows how, but I have.   I have always been frugal and had a little bit of money set aside.   That is all gone now and I really scared.    But I am resourceful and smart.

I needed to learn how to take care of Mom so I went back to school to get my C.N.A and P.C.T. license which lets me work part time on the weekend in our community hospital.   It isn't much, but after my unemployoment ran out, I needed something to help out.   We are just barely getting by on Mom's little monthly pension.    Through it all, I found my calling and am pursing my nursing degree starting this fall.   My career as I knew it is gone.   If I am going to start over again, I need for my work to mean something and I will need to be able to make a good living because all of my savings are gone.   Nursing will let me take care of Mom and rebuild my life.   The only obstacle that I have is day care expense for Mom.  Believe you me, it is a lot more expensive that childcare.

Mother's story is horrible, but believe it or not, it isn't the worst one that I have heard.   The nursing homes are full of patients who could have aged in place in their own homes, if resources were available.    There are people just like me who need and want to work, but can't because there is no one who is able to take care of their Mom or Dad.  Some end up putting them in nursing homes because there is no other place or option available. 

This is why I am going to start an adult day care facility in my home town.   It will enable me to work full time and know that Mom is well cared for.   But more importantly, it will provide a valuable service to the community and our elder citizens.  The most vulnerable of all are the the elderly and children.

I have a solid plan and a staff of LPN's and C.N.A.'s ready to get on board, but of course, I have 32 cents in my pocket.    So yes, I am asking for money.   I need fifty thousand dollars to start and with only a half staff and patients, this money could be paid back in a year, but I could only pay 7% interest.   I don't want to borrow anything for longer than a year. 

On my end, I am starting an online bakery and drapery business to raise money.   I have already set the business up and in about a year, I should have established enough business credit to get convential financing.  

So on the off chance that someone would like to invest or make a gift, I need your help.  I can't do this on my own.   Please email me with your phone number or email address and we can talk further.   Please note, don't ask me to travel or send collateral, I won't do it.   You will have to come here and I won't meet you alone.    

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Starshine
 in response to sandra35...   

HEY , DAY GOING OK JUST HAVE TO FIX THINGS TO EAT BUT WILL SEE. GOSH I COULD GIVE YOU MY SISTER ADDY AND SHE HAS THE THOUSANDS NOW..TAKE CARE WISH WE WERE CLOSER..tHIS IS GOING TO BE FUN DAY...hAVE FUN AT THE BANK..KEEP IN TOUCH. i WOKE AT 6AM THEN WENT BACK TO SLEEP JUST NOT SLEEPING GOOD THROUGH THE NIGHT..THEN I SLEEP DURING THE DAY..

LOVE YOU

 

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sandra35
 in response to Starshine...   HEY! STARSHINE'S, HOW'S YOUR DAY GOING? I AM GETTING READY TO GO THE BANK. UNLESS YOU WANT TO GIVE ME THOUSANDS$$? HA HA! I KNOW BILLS COME FAST! IT SEEMS LIKE I JUST FINISH SENDING THE CHECK. AND THE BILLS   ALWAYS COME BACK TO HAUNT ME. HA! YOU AGREE? I AM CONCERNED ABOUT SUNNY. CAT'S ARE SO WORTH HAVING. THEY ARE CUTE, FUN, AND ENTERTAINING. I LOVE CAT'S! WELL, I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY.  REMEMBER, I AM THINKING ABOUT YOU TODAY. TAKE CARE, MY FRIEND!! SANDRA35 AND KEEP YOUR SMILE  
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Starshine
 in response to sandra35...   

Hi I wish I was the healthest person have to eat eat till 2 not fun and cat another thing figuring out homeopathic stuff for him..

I gotta get going as I have to pay bills UNLESS there is someone wanting to do that for me??

Take care..

love 

 

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sandra35
 in response to Starshine...   starshine's, you must be the healthest person in the world. what you are eating is SO good for you. i hope fo rthe BEST for SUNNY. again thanks for your email. and hope we stay in touch, my friend!! love, sandra
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Starshine
 in response to sandra35...   

Hi , I am not either and like to go on grapefruit diet . I just like to put it all in a blender as I would rather get it over with. I will let you know what is going on with Sunny and I worked in the yard weeding one day big time. The next days I could hardly walk all the getting up and down killed my thighs...Go girl on that yard...It is football time I hear a neighbor yelling .. oh boy bring on the beers. lol I know he has two at night...take care...

have a great night..

love ya

 

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sandra35
 in response to Starshine...   starshine's, Yea, I am not a cereal lover. i hardly ever eat cereal. I like chicken and lots of fruits. I hope sunny gets better. Cats are fun! well, my weekend went well. yesterday I spent 10 hours in the yard. now it looks picture perfect. My hubby and boy's also helped me. keep me posted regarding SUNNY. okay? good night, my friend!! sandra35  
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Starshine
 in response to sandra35...   

I just ate my cereal have something else might have a food bar and I will be glad when I get Sunny back so I am decluttering lol and try to pay bills as I know when he is home no rest he will be into things and I hope all goes well

Have a great evening love you 

Starshine

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sandra35
 in response to Starshine...   STARSHINE'S, I HOPE YOU have a good evening? I AM HOME NOW FOR A WHILE. HOPE I HEAR FROM YOU SOON. TAKE CARE, MY FRIEND!! SANDRA35
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Starshine
 in response to sandra35...   

I am doing ok and relaxing is for today as Sunny can be a handful well. Will see how things go and really pray hope for the best he can and will stay with the program !!! He is alive but till he got on iv's his body was under major stress so mommy has to do thinking and check emails for information..

Wish I was closer to some of the people I met , gets lonely..

hugs an love

Starshine

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sandra35
 in response to Starshine...   STARSHINE'S, OH! I AM HAPPY THAT KITTY IS STILL ALIVE. THAT CONCERNED ME! JUST HANG IN THERE. IT WON'T BE LONG FOR SHE WILL SOON BE WITH YOU. I WON'T CONTINUE TALKING ABOUT KITTY. BUT PLEASE KEEP ME POSTED. SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED TO RELAX. THANKS FOR GETTING BACK TO ME. NEED TO GO. TAKE CARE, MY FRIEND!! SANDRA35 
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Starshine
 in response to sandra35...   

THANK YOU sandra35 for the compliment. Sunny comes home Monday sometime so I hope he feels good enough to stay alive pain free. I don't like to think of it as it will be a struggle to get him to eat what he should and hate seeing my cat go through his breaks my heart. Now before I start to cry about it. I am going to do something else...And I hope the Lord blesses my cat to eat and hang with me for years to come with going into kidney things. love you call any time...

Starshine and God Bless you too. 

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sandra35
 in response to Starshine...   STARSHINE'S, IT'S A PLEASURE TO COMPLIMENT THOSE THAT DESERVE SUCH HIGH HONOR. WE'VE NEVER MET, BUT YOUR CONCERN AND YOUR KIND HEART FOR OTHER'S IS MORE THAN ENOUGH TO SAY, "THANK YOU, MY FRIEND"! AS FAR AS KITTY, IS SHE NOT WITH YOU?. HONEY, I AM VERY SADDEN IF THAT IS THE CASE. I HOPE THINGS DO GET BETTER FOR YOU. YOU ARE ONE KIND HEARTED FRIEND. NOT ONLY FOR ME, BUT ALL THESE PEOPLE ON AIDPAGE. MAY YOUR KINDNESS AND LOVE TRAVEL ALL OVER THIS SITE. YOU'RE CERTAINLY A BLESSING. MAY THE LORD BE WITH YOU AND KEEP YOU SAFE. LOVE YOU, MY FRIEND!! SANDRA35  
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Starshine
 in response to sandra35...   

Thank you sandra 35 for the nice compliment. I am just missing kitty cat and things I use to do and have so put breakfast off till I can fix it and if I get tired slug milk. I thought about a piece to write but save it for later. Need pizza and no cash to get it but do have a gift card someone gave me from another site. I hate to think of the winter without my cat and no other kind of work to do as it gets me down. To do good for me takes money..Thank you for the words as everyone is so nice saying hi.

I guess I will use the pizza deal to get something today pay bills ugh .More later love you

Starshine

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sandra35
 in response to Starshine...   starshine's, i happened to get a few messages of other's on aidpage chatting to other's. than i read your's regarding health issues. just wanted to comment that i liked the your comment. you are one SWEET person to care for ALL those suffering either with health issues or financial issues. i know i was so BLESSED to know you!! i hope your cat is doing better? and i hope you are having a good day. remember to do something good for yourself. you deserve the BEST day ever. take care, my FRIEND!! SANDRA35 
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Starshine
 in response to sandra35...   I read my one to one's with her and like me we had similar problems when it comes to the ill health of a parent and the h the other creates for the one who is to be looking out for interest of the loved one. Me the daughter as she was to her mom looking out for her mother's interest..I hope she is ok...
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sandra35

After reading your message, we here on aidpage feels your pain. we all know how it is to struggle. as far as money, we all could use some MONEY. what i am saying money is something unfortunitly no one has. Although I understand you don't want to borrow and pay interest. right? WELL, THE TRUE MEANING OF BEING POOR IS TO BORROW MONEY OR CREDIT CARDS. SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE DOING MUCH BETTER THAN THE REST OF US. AFTER ALL WE BORROW. BUT WE ALL DO WANT TO SAY, WE WELCOME YOU HERE ON THIS PAGE. EVERYONE REMEMBER IS STRUGGLING TOO. I AM SORRY, BUT NONE OF US HAVE MONEY. GOOD DAY AND PLEASE KEEP US POSTED. WE ALL DO CARE ABOUT YOU!! SANDRA35

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prodigal daughter
 in response to milesrf...   

Thank you so much for the sites.   Mom is a type two and takes metformin and insulin injections.    Thank you for the information about the starch.  I didn't realize this.   I am going to minimize the starch and see how that helps.  

Let me share with you something else that has really benefited Mom; Cinnamon.   I put a tablespoon of cinnamon in her sugar free/caffine free hotchocolate in the morning and over the past year she has gone from 20 units a day to 4 units.

I am glad that your assisted living is putting in a day program.  There should be one in every city and town in America.   I really like assisted living facilities as well.   Nursing Home should always be the last resort, if at all.   There are so many senior out their that can have a full and happy life and continue to live at home, if more centers were available.   Not everyone can afford to have in home care.  The bigger problem is that many also can not afford to pay for day care or assisted living.

In my plan, I intend to keep two little online companys that will serve as contractors to the daycare.  These buisiness are up and running now and helping me to raise seed money for the daycare.   Once the daycare is up and running and able to stand alone, I am keeping these nonprofits running to help raise money for special grants for the needy who can't afford the services.

I think that there is a lot that we can do, if we all put our hearts and minds to it.   As far as not being able to send money, don't even think about it.    I wouldn't take it if you sent it.   Your care is expensive and you shouldn't ever send money to anyone over the internet.  

Knowlege is as good as money.  Today I learned something from you that I didn't know.  That's the beauty of our senior community, you guys have so much to share with us and you are our blessing.

Tell me about your facility.  How do you like it.   I am originally from Alabama and it is a beautiful state and the people are just wonderful.   I have been in Georgia for many years now and it is my home now.  You just can't beat the south for comfort and charm.   

Can you share with me some of the activities they plan for you.   I am very interested in hearing from you.   Would you mind if I shared some of my ideas with you?   Your input would help me make a lot of mistakes.   I want to design an activities program that is really fun and enjoyable for adults between 60 and 80.

I am glad you found me and I hope to hear from you very soon.

Hope:)

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milesrf

I've found a few web sites that might help with the diabetes:

http://alt-support-diabetes.org/new.php

http://www.tudiabetes.org/ 

http://www.phlaunt.com/diabetes/

http://www.diabetes.org/

Note that most cookbooks that claim to be good for diabetics are based on the old idea that avoiding sugar, but not easily digested forms of starch, is good for controlling type 2 diabetes.  More recent research has shown that the easily digested forms of starch digest about as fast as sugar, and into the same types of simple sugars.  Therefore, cookbooks labelled low-carb usually work better for controlling type 2 diabetes.  Generally, only various forms of insulin can control type 1 diabetes, though, so you may want to ask her doctor which type she has.

The assisted living facility I'm now in is thinking of adding a building to house seniors who don't need assisted living yet.  Would you like to discuss adding a senior day care center to that building or nearby with them?

http://www.cottageassistedliving.com/

Several locations, mostly in Alabama.

Sorry I can't help your financial needs more directly.

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prodigal daughter
 in response to whoknew...   

You are so right.   It is true that I was the black sheep, but I was very comfortable in my own wool.   But I got to tell ya, this responsible stuff is for the birds.   I really miss the freedom of being the black sheep. LOL.

At the end of the day, I am happy with me.   When all is said and done, I will be at peace and greatful for the opportunity that I was given.   This journey has taught me many things.

I have learned to be happy with less.   I have learned that true value is found in the quality of the people you let in your life.  I have learned to like my Mom and respect the life she lived. Most of all, I know what it is like to be really loved by someone, because they love you, not because they need something from you.

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Anonymous
 in response to prodigal daughter...   

I know your situation all too well.. the fact of the matter is you are there when your mom needs you - regardless of your brother and sister - and THAT is what matters most! 

Stay comfortable with who you are - those other people do NOT live your life or pay your bills. Be happy with your own life - no one else's.

 I have a feeling you and mom have a lot in common and now that you have this opportunity to get to know one another better,  you are going to find out just how much. Enjoy your time together and make the most of it!I think you are going to be very surprised!

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